A Year at the End

Sending 2025 off in style

Where I am, it’s the end of the year. Does that shock you? Whenever I think too deeply about the passage of time, I feel like burying myself. Fortunately, that’ll happen to me someday, so in the meantime, I’m watching a lot of movies and reading a bunch of books.

I find end-of-the-year lists to be cringe, especially because there’s so much I haven’t seen or read or experienced this year. However, this isn’t a comprehensive list; it’s just a snapshot of my year. Take a little, and leave a little something, too. Tell me what you enjoyed the most this year.

Books

I find it really hard to rank books, mostly because I think most of them are good. It’s hard for me to be too critical of books as a writer, because I know how much work goes into them (unless you’re James Patterson). I read 109 books this year, and I’ve narrowed down my Top 10. These are the books that stuck with me this year—books I’d recommend again and again.

10. When We Cease to Understand the World by Benjamin Labatut

    1. A lovely work of nonfiction about math and science of all things. The way he weaves the stories of these men together is seamless and fascinating. If you liked Oppenheimer, you’ll love this.

9. About Ed by Robert Gluck

   1. Robert Gluck is a genius. A postmodern master, he’s as slutty as he is thought-provoking. Heated Rivalry for intellectuals. I learned a lot about gay sex from reading this book. The way he constructs a sentence is remarkable. I felt joy and pain and grief and hope.

8. Last Date in El Zapotal by Mateo García Elizondo

   1. A short novella that’s pretty captivating. I love Charco Press, and this is a new writer I hadn’t known, and let me say, he’s got the juice. Great book to start and finish in one sitting.

7. Happening by Annie Ernaux

   1. I’m biased, but I think Annie Ernaux is one of the greatest writers of our time. She’s stupendous and writes nonfiction in a way I aspire to write. This is one of her more famous novellas, but for good reason. Our current political climate is so evil, and this book serves as a reminder of how much women still have left to lose. Visceral scenes, and the heavy burden of biology.

6. Darryl by Jackie Ess

   1. One of the best books of the 21st century. Twitterati had been proclaiming the ingenuity of this book for years. I thought it was overblown until I picked it up and started reading. A book about the Internet and wokeness that is engaging, not terrible. A must-read for freaks and perverts.

5. True Grit by Charles Portis

   1. An oldy but a goody, baby. The book is ten times better than the movie(s). It’s narrated by Mattie Ross, and she’s funny and headstrong. Full of action, drama, and characters that feel real.

4. The Sleepers by Sophie Calle

   1. Part book, part art—Sophie Calle’s The Sleepers is an intimate experiment where Calle photographs friends and strangers who sleep in her bed. While the photographs are the heart of the text, there is much to read about Calle’s individual experience photographing her subjects. A beautiful book published by Siglio Press, it’s a masterpiece and a conversation starter.

      

3. The Queens’ Ball by Copi

   1. Sickest book I’ve read this year (complimentary). A queer horror novel, something out of the John Waters universe. I don’t want to spoil a thing. Go buy it, now.

2. On the Calculation of Volume I & II by Slovej Balle

   1. These are the books of the year, hands down. I can’t wait to get my hands on the third book. I believe there will be four, and I wish there were four million. I’ve already written about these books, so I’ll keep it short. A modern sci-fi series that feels real and is heavily laden with the sadness of our time. Groundhog Day if Bill Murray wasn’t evil. I haven’t felt this close to a main character in a long time.

1. Chess Story by Stefan Zweig

   1. This has been my year of Zweig. I’m such a fangirl, his books really scratch my particular itch. I read this book in January and never stopped thinking about it. Heartbreaking that fascism never truly died. We are all trapped in our cells, playing chess against ourselves. Please read it; it changed my life.

New Movies

I’m so reluctant to proclaim the best movie of the year, because there are so many I haven’t seen yet. But I’ve seen a lot, so I’ll go out on a limb and advocate for my Top 10 of 2025:

10. On Becoming a Guinea Fowl

    1. Technically, this was released in 2024, but I didn’t see it until 2025. A Zambian film, this female-led film from Rungano Nyoni explores feminism, grief, and assault in a way that is empowering but not campy. Beautiful shots and tremendous acting. Funny as it is infuriatingly dark.

9. Peter Hujar’s Day

   1. This movie is 71 minutes long, and each minute is absolutely essential. It cuts close to the bone but still feels sumptuous. Proof that you can make a good movie about anything, even just a conversation between friends. The shots, too, are in wonderful homage to Hujar’s work. Such a lovely tribute.

8. Wake Up Dead Man

   1. Mr. Johnson, I want to shake your fucking hand. I could watch a million of these films. This might be my favorite of the series. Josh O’Connor really shines as a fuckable priest, and the mystery is brilliantly laid out. It’s a twisted, funny, good time, and I’m lucky to have seen it in theaters.

7. Die My Love

   1. I was a big Lynne Ramsay fan before this, but this is probably one of my favorites of her films. It is so impossible to be a woman, I often want to go crazy. A tragicomedy that is mesmerizing to watch, Jennifer Lawrence is insanely good in this. The perfect film to watch, whether you love or hate women.

6. Sorry, Baby

   1. An astonishing debut from Eva Victor. It’s a small, quiet story that packs a punch. It reminded me of when we used to make movies that meant something—that were personal and deep. A sad film, but still so optimistic.

5. If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You

   1. One of the most fucked up films I’ve seen this year, and I loved every second of it. The choice not to show the daughter was remarkable. Rose Byrne deserves the award for this. It is an infuriating film that is surreal but so deeply lifelike. It all feels like a mess sometimes. Every day feels impossible.

4. Afternoons of Solitude

   1. A documentary that is so beautifully shot, it feels almost unreal. A reminder that nonfiction filmmaking does not have to be ugly. It can be beautiful, shocking in its intensity, and real. The bullfighter is fine as fuck, too. Watch it if you want to discover something new about filmmaking.

3. It Was Just an Accident

   1. Jafar Panahi literally got arrested over making this film, and you’re going to put Train Dreams on your best of the year lists? Yeah, go fuck yourself. An immaculate film. The humor makes the ending all the more devastating. It is so rare that I see a film that has an ending that sticks with me anymore, but this film’s ending is so perfect and bone-chilling. A must-see movie.

2. The Secret Agent

   1. Wagner Moura is PAPA. He looks so good in this film, it’s almost criminal. Feels like something you’d watch in the 70s, too. Perfect mise-en-scene and world-building. Each supporting character is putting in the work. An imperfect mystery that makes you feel worse about the world. You should always leave the theater feeling different about the time you’re living in. This is hands down the best film of the year, and I can’t wait until it wins every award. Two-faced cat!!

      

1. A Poet

   1. While I adore The Secret Agent, I saw this little Colombian film at CIFF and can’t stop thinking about it. The main actor was just a teacher, not professionally trained, and he is remarkable. Insanely funny and heartfelt, this film about a misguided poet who tries to help the next generation is unique while still feeling so relatable. I really hope it gets a wider release so that you can all see it.

First Watches

The thing about movies is that you will never see all of them before you die. While I mourn this thought, I also make it a habit to see as many as I can. It’s thrilling to discover an old film that is new to you. I make it a habit to watch as many different films as I can, to enhance my palette and inspire something deeper in me. This year, I tried to watch more Asian cinema, since it’s a blind spot for me. I also watched trash I found on Tubi because it takes all kinds.

Someone on Twitter told me the other day that my Gremlins live-tweets inspired them to show their 94-year-old grandmother Gremlins, and she loved it! That made my day. I think you could probably show any of these films to your grandparents (if you’re brave).

10. Vampires (1998)

    1. John Carpenter used to give us such beautiful trash along with the bangers. Remember when you could just make a movie, and it didn’t need to set records at the box office? Is this film good? No, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s beautiful that it exists as it is, with James Woods as a foul-mouthed vampire hunter who is sort of in love with a hot priest. It’s scary and at times, moving. I love horror movies, and I love it when films inspire other filmmakers. You can see a bit of Vampires in Sinners, and I think that’s pretty cool.

9. Beyond the Visible: Hilma af Klint (2019)

   1. A really eye-opening documentary about a forgotten artist who was so ahead of her time. This film posits that the great modernists that we know of actually stole her ideas, which is an insane revelation. Whether it’s true or not, her art was forward-thinking, reminding us that this is magic in the way the world just exists. From atoms to leaves and swans, there is beauty in every living thing.

8. His Motorbike, Her Island (1986)

   1. A romantic deep cut about riding your motorcycle in the rain along with your girl. Is there anything more beautiful than time spent together? Beautifully shot and so wistful. A tender little film.

7. Woman in the Dunes (1964)

   1. A legendary film for good reason. The quality of this film is remarkable. Shot in black and white in a sand dune, you make out every texture and every line. It’s an evil film that gets under your skin. A psychological thriller that doesn’t get talked about enough.

6. The Annihilation of Fish (1999)

   1. An unconventional romantic comedy that deserves more hype. I think more rom-coms should have older leads. Love can come into your life at the most unexpected moments. I truly believe there is someone out there for us all.

5. Crossing Delancey (1988)

   1. What’s funny is, I started this year in a deep depression because of an asshole writer, but by the end of it, I’ve found my pickle vendor. Life’s funny like that. A sweet film that has taken on new meaning for me. I think I’ll watch it every year.

4. Babe: Pig in the City (1998)

   1. I think this is the best movie ever made. Aren’t we all just a little pig, lost in the big city? Truly a moving and hilarious odyssey. When the little dog goes to Heaven? What the actual fuck!! I’m thinking about when Noah Baumbach programmed a double feature with Babe: Pig in the City and Eyes Wide Shut, as they are obviously in conversation with each other. I want to live on a big farm with all my little animals someday. Where we can all be safe and happy.

3. Supermarket Woman (1996)

   1. An absolutely delightful film that you can watch on a gray day. I love grocery shopping, and it’s funny to see a film reflect that. Just a wonderful film with vibrant colors and a vibrant cast. It made me think about when I used to watch Superstore with my dad anytime I came home from college.

2. Morvern Callar (2002)

   1. A startlingly dark film that almost made me sick to watch. Sometimes bad things happen to you, and you just have to keep moving. Is Morvern a bad person? This film is not interested in answering that question, which is almost a relief. There is something really haunting about the early 2000s to me, maybe because it was my childhood, so it all feels a bit hazy. It feels like such a dark time, but for reasons I can’t really articulate. The future was supposed to be happening, but everyone felt stuck in the past.

1. Night Moves (1975)

   1. It was a Night Moves year, let me tell you. An underappreciated gem of the 70s, don’t overlook it, just appreciate it. Let the night wash over you. RIP Gene Hackman.

Miscellaneous

I wanted to detail some music recommendations for you all, but I’m not really hip when it comes to music. I really liked The Marias this year, and my top Spotify artist was Sade (no surprise there). I discovered 54 Ultra and Hamid Al Shaeri this year, and I finally saw Cindy Lee in concert (my first concert in 10 years).

I was also thinking about my ins and outs this year. I’m not really sure. I don’t see myself as a trendsetter in that sense. I think having a boyfriend is in this year; it’s not embarrassing, let’s all grow up. I think sparkly eyeliner, stretching, wooden jewelry, black panties, matinees, claw machines, dumplings, and lemon soju are in. I think protein, viral videos, not knowing how to queue, little purses, and concealer are out.

I hope you all have a lovely start to your new year. I still have so much to do before the year is up. Wish me luck.